I would love to take a few
minutes each day and practice the Loving Kindness meditation. I think in time,
this exercise could become a habit and serve as a constant reminder to give
love. However, I still have reservations about the effectiveness of these types
of exercises. In the end, I am sure I am changing myself on the inside, but
does it do any good to become a kind and loving person while everyone else
stays the same? I have trust issues, and I fear letting my guard down. I am
still pretty stuck in the “fear so we cannot be vulnerable” state. I think it
will take me a while to break free from this mindset. I am not ready to let
people in to wreak havoc in my life again at this time. I believe I started out
my life with an attitude of loving kindness, but I have put up walls and
changed as a result of the not so loving kindness I received from others. This
is not an overnight transformation for me.
During the assessment, my
mind teetered between two different areas. In the biological quadrant, I need
to refocus my energy and efforts on a consistent health, fitness, and nutrition
routine. I have relaxed a little too much over the winter, and it is time to
put forth the effort my body requires and deserves. I work best in this area by
having a written schedule, meal plan, and goals. It takes the guess work out of
everyday life and eliminates stress associated with health and fitness. Meal
planning is a recipe for success and definitely helps to keep me on track. I am
also going to enlist the support of a few friends to keep me accountable.
Also, I need to put some
emphasis on my interpersonal relationships. I live in a transient area, and one
by one, my friends move. My closest family is five to six hours away. I think I
need to spend more time volunteering at my children’s schools to get to know
some of the other parents a little better. It is important for me to form bonds
outside my home because my husband travels often. I have long distance support,
but it is never the same as having coffee or a bbq with a local friend.
You post touched close to home. I too have trust issues and have walls that are made of steel like fort Knox. lol. But I know that at some point I will have to let people in, but not fully in. I will only let them in as far as I will allow. I often wonder how people let people in so easily and never seem to worry and go about their merry way. I on the other hand will always proceed with caution and guard my heart. I am a giver and I know that people try and take advantage. But I also have a mean streak that I know I have to scale back to find peace. I think that has to do with the trust issues. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI totally understand slacking off regarding the biological quadrant during the winter. Winter is so depressing with our lack of vitamin d, being stuck inside (if you've had horrible snow all winter like we have) and just being so cold that you don't feel like going to the gym! I know some mornings I get up and I do have the energy then I think ughh it's so cold I don't want to get all bundled up, go out in the cold, try and shove all my layers in my gym locker etc. I think this is an area most people need to work on
ReplyDeleteYou are not the only one that has a problem with the winter. Its normal. I find it helpful to preplan meals by the week. It is also good for your child(or children) im not sure how many that you have.
ReplyDeleteVolunteering sounds like a great idea for multiple reasons. It is important to have support that is close. Face to face conversations to vent always seem more beneficial than over the phone. It would also be nice to spend some "you" time.
Best of luck with your goals.
Hello Bree,
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of people can relate to having trust issues. You're right it is not an over night thing. I use to be the same way, heck maybe I still have some walls up but, I have learned that forgiving those that caused me pain has not only let me move on but I am able to let people in. I just keep everyone at a safe distance, and always giving them enough rope to hang themselves so speak, but hope that they don't so that something good may come of it. I once wrote a letter forgiving the man that killed my best friend in a car accident, I asked God to forgive because we are human and we do make mistakes; the man did his time and is now a free man I don't think it's right but than again why bring all that clatter back into my life when I have moved on with my life. So i guess what I am saying is try writing a letter to those who have hurt you or done you wrong in the past and forgive them, I didn't give anyone this letter but, I gave it to a friend that I now have trust in to hold it and keep it for me, so you don't have to show anyone it's just the fact that all your feelings are actually out in the open on paper, and look at it as it is no longer in you and when ever you want to let all that clatter back in just open up the letter and see that you have moved on.
Evening Breezy,
ReplyDeleteI can relate so much to your post and although I understand that we are a technological society I get a little frustrated by the extensive and sometimes over zealous use of it. We text instead of talk, we Skype instead of visit, we virtual vacation instead of actual going. During dinner, family time and social events, we socialize with our cell phones, video game or MP3 and I must say loudly-I miss having girls night out, family dinners where we sat at the table, played more with the kids. Our relationships have no relation at all, we have shipped into into the latest computer chip and I fear the cartoon Wall-E is more reality than not..
Great Post
Desiree Stroder